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Irregular Reporting of Societal IssuesSM
"Get your news weakly"SM 3 November 2008

Maverick in the Wind

(Political Satire to the tune of "Candle in the Wind" by Elton John and Bernie Taupin)

Goodbye John McCain
We found we never knew you at all
You had the grace to uphold yourself
But your campaign tone just galled

They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
They set you on a treadmill
And they made you change your game

     And it seems to me, you lived your life
     Like a maverick in the wind
     Never knowing who to cling to
     When the rain set in
     And we would have liked the old you
     Like New Hampshire did
     The maverick burned out long before
     Your chances ever did

CountryFirst was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Minneapolis created a superstar
And pain was the price you paid

Even when your campaign died
Oh, the press still hounded you
All the papers had to say
Was that Palin had gone rogue

     And it seems to me, you lived your life
     Like a maverick in the wind
     Never knowing who to cling to
     When the rain set in
     And we would have liked the old you
     Like New Hampshire did
     The maverick burned out long before
     Your chances ever did
[see next column...]

 

[...from previous column]
Goodbye John McCain
We found we never knew you at all
You had the grace to uphold yourself
But your campaign tone just galled

Goodbye John McCain
From the young man who wants the neocons to go
Who saw you as something more than partisan
More than just a right-wing Joe

     And it seems to me, you lived your life
     Like a maverick in the wind
     Never knowing who to cling to
     When the rain set in
     And we would have liked the old you
     Like New Hampshire did
     The maverick burned out long before
     Your chances ever did

     The maverick burned out long before
     Your chances ever did

Chicago Experiences Difficulties

In the midst of the excitement regarding the outcome of the presidential election, Chicago authorities have issued warnings to constituents about a blight of cute, fuzzy, gentle, and disturbingly anthropomorphic bunnies, fawns, bluebirds, otters, bears, and other, primarily juvenile, woodland creatures, which has been gathering in Grant Park. Authorities note that this was recently the site of President-elect Barack Obama's acceptance speech, but neglect to place blame for the blight on the conduct of either the campaign supporters or staff members. In addition, there are reports of near-blinding rainbows forming spontaneously over Grant Park. Chicago officials expect the overflowing pots of gold associated with the rainbows to off-set the unanticipated costs associated with the blight.



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all materials are completely ficticious, facetious, sarcastic, and
© 2006, 2007, 2008 Lea Ann Mawler & Stuart Mawler